in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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