I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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