my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
