I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
