Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
