i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
