I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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