make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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