Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
