i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
