he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
