Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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