Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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