Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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