Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
