Define "chronic" masturbator.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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