what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
