Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There r osticjed everywhere
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
