I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
