yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
