Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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