I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
