no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
