We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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