Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
