Me. At least after what I've been through.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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