Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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