she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
