A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
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