...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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