I feel like I'm in dance class right now
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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