My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
