If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
