found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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