it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
