I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Do vagina's smell?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
