How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
