before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
