My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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