I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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