I want to walk on stilts...naked
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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