yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
