sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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