its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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