I checked into jail on foursquare
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
