Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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