I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
