dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
