singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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