Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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