these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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