Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
