Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
