***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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