he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
