Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
