I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
